Evgeny Olegovich, hello!

Could you answer, what is your opinion not only as a man and a family psychologist, but also as a pediatrician about the joint sleep of mother and child? After reading most of the materials on your site, I found only references to the fact that a woman is a social being, she should sleep not with a child, but with her dad, as a result of the opposite behavior, family conflicts arise.

But let's remove dad for simplicity of life. We will take a single mother, or a dad who works night shifts, or a dad - a creepy owl (goes to bed at 8 in the morning, when the child is already waking up). Let's take a cave so beloved by you (and by me in the fight against grandmothers :). It is unlikely that a woman will allocate a place for a child a few meters away from herself - why? It is much more convenient to keep it nearby - no need to equip an additional sleeping place, crawl somewhere, feed in the middle of the night. The child is nearby, feels the warmth of the mother's body, calms down, you can feed again, almost without waking up. Solid convenience for both, isn't it? What could be more natural?

My question to you is caused by the fact that now it has somehow become very fashionable to sleep with a child. In many respects, this, apparently, is the result of the aggressive propaganda of all kinds of schools like "Rozhana", strongly suggesting to women that if they do not breastfeed a child up to 4 years old 12 times a day, do not sleep with him, do not carry him in a sling, do vaccinations for up to a year and generally do not spend 24 hours a day with a child - they are not mothers, but vipers, they will not have an emotional connection with children and they will end their days in a nursing home, not visited by mentally cold children. And pregnant women and young mothers are suggestible creatures (do not you know).

Our masseuse shared her observation that in some St. Petersburg families that she happened to visit for work, there are no cribs - children always sleep with their parents. And sometimes the family sleeps together, and sometimes dad goes to the kitchen sofa or on the floor. Is there such a "fashion" in Ukraine? What do your personal statistics say? How do you feel about this phenomenon?

Is there any harm to the child in this, in your opinion? My experience of sleeping with a child (girl, 3 months old, development is normal) - just in case, it’s suddenly interesting: if everything is calm and the child is sleeping, he is sleeping in his crib. However, it happens that her tummy bothers her at night - and then it’s easier for me to put her with me and periodically massage or stick a sedative pacifier while she is still half asleep, otherwise she will wake up completely - then coax ... Or in the morning she starts to be active, but I still I want to sleep - then again I take it to me, feed and hug - she warms up and falls asleep. As a result, my sleep is prolonged, which is important :) Of the minuses, I can note that I can’t get a deep and full sleep with a child (I tried to sleep with her all night a couple of times) - you are afraid to hurt, crush, push out of bed - so you wake up periodically to make sure that's all right. If you find time to answer, I will be grateful :)

Hello Natasha!

To begin with, I note that, being a pediatrician and a man of a traditional orientation, I do not at all pretend to wear the proud and now fashionable title of "family psychologist". Those. My opinion on such an interesting issue cannot be considered as a recommendation of a specialist. I am only formulating my position, based on a considerable experience of communication and observation of those who implement in everyday life various options joint sleep.

The initial concept is obvious: there is not and cannot be a clear rule in this matter. Each family determines the sleep system itself, and this system should be convenient for a particular family, and not for a pediatrician or psychologist. The opinions of the mentioned experts are deeply secondary - if you feel good, if all family members are satisfied with this situation - sleep as you want. If the formulated rule is taken as an axiom, then the following becomes clear: most of today's psychologists have nothing to do with psychology. After all, the essence psychological help quite obvious - the creation of psychological, emotional comfort in a particular family or a particular person. But it is our psychologists who are distinguished by amazing aggressiveness - you write about it yourself. Everyone who does not agree to sleep as expected, feed as expected, give birth as expected, are enemies of progress and are not worthy of being parents. What could be stranger than an aggressive psychologist?

First of all, I am for treating all this calmly - without anguish. Is it bad for a baby to sleep with mom? Not harmful. If conditions are met:

The bed meets the necessary requirements;

Flat hard mattress, no pillow, the child is not able to fall out, bed linen of proper quality, washed and ironed as expected;

Parents are able to control their sleep so as not to harm the child;

Parents are satisfied with such a sleep pattern (I emphasize that it is the parents who suit them, and not just one parent).

Now let's pay attention to two mutually exclusive provisions from your letter. 1. "The child is nearby, feels the warmth of the mother's body, calms down, you can feed again, almost without waking up. Solid convenience for both, isn't it? What could be more natural?" 2. "Let's remove dad for simplicity of life." There is no doubt that the exclusion of the pope should under no circumstances be regarded as natural. Our dads don’t really pamper their children with their attention, and if they are still deliberately excluded ... A huge number of families are destroyed precisely because a woman after childbirth does not have the opportunity, skill, desire to be distracted for some time from the child and pay attention to your husband. Valuable instructions regarding the fact that a man should "enter her position", understand, help and suffer - in practice they do not work at all. And the only way to reach a consensus all the time is to share a bed. If you also exclude it, then the problem of co-sleeping will be noticeably simplified. Indeed - as soon as you consciously turned into a single mother, it does not matter who you sleep with - with a child or with a wet pillow ...

It is impossible not to mention one more paradoxical moment in this aspect. As you quite rightly noted, "pregnant women and young mothers are suggestible creatures" - but they are the ones who tend to read all this psychological nonsense, which cannot be said about pregnant men and young fathers. The stay of an infant near its mother - in constant bodily and spiritual contact with her, 24 hours a day - is an absolutely natural phenomenon. This is an instinctive need of a child, but the practical implementation of the mentioned instinct introduces serious restrictions on a woman's lifestyle, and such restrictions do not always have a positive impact on the quality of life itself. However, this instinct does not fundamentally affect the physical and mental health of the infant. It is impossible to prove otherwise. Well, except to mention that the aggression of psychologists is precisely due to the fact that in early childhood, parents did not take them to bed with them.

The child gets used to the lack of constant contact with the mother surprisingly quickly. In the cave, as soon as mommy left, it becomes cold, but not in the apartment. Contact with the mother was interrupted, but the child is full, he is not cold, not wet, not hot - what is there to yell in vain. And with a normal care system, a child gets used to an isolated sleep in 2-3 days. If you teach from the moment you return from the hospital. The opposite situation is no less obvious - the longer the child is in the parent's bed, the more difficult it is to get him out of there. And if you think that he will sleep with his mother until he is a year old, and then he will voluntarily move to his bed - you are so mistaken. All the same, measures of pedagogical influence will be needed, all the same, psychological trauma will be inevitable.

Final provisions and specific answers. Your contacts with your children and your children's care for you in old age are determined primarily by the system of life values ​​adopted in your family. With the highest possible probability, the daughter will treat her mother exactly as her mother treats her grandmother. Claims that on-demand feeding and co-sleeping are a way to ensure a peaceful old age surrounded by loving children and grandchildren, in my opinion, do not stand up to criticism, have nothing to do with evidence-based medicine or evidence-based psychology.

Fortunately, I do not observe fashion for a joint sleep with a child in Ukraine. But there are some heroic enthusiasts. My personal statistics show that co-sleeping with children has more disadvantages than advantages. It easily takes root in families where the joint sleep of mom and dad was not practiced even before the birth of the child - where there are separate mom and dad's bedrooms, where mom does not get enough sleep because of dad's snoring, where there is no dad, after all. Under the conditions mentioned above, sleep in the parent's bed does not have any negative impact on the health of the child.

Summary. Listen less and read all sorts of nonsense. Don't let anyone in your bed and don't let other people's opinions about what to do in bed influence you. Remember: everything that you do in your bed with your husband or with your child is your own business. If you and your "companions" feel good, then it should be so. If it's bad, either change the partner, or move the child to his own bed.

Co-sleeping with a newborn can be both beneficial and harmful. However, in the first two or three months of life, constant bodily contact with the mother, including at night, is simply necessary for the full development of the newborn. In addition, co-sleeping promotes lactation and helps the baby fall asleep quickly and easily.

After two months, milk production stabilizes. The baby during this period falls asleep better and sleeps more soundly. At this point, it is already possible to gradually begin to accustom the child to a separate sleep with his mother and a certain regimen.

Let's find out what are the benefits and dangers of co-sleeping. Consider at what age and how to teach your baby to sleep in a separate bed.

Benefit

As already mentioned, sleeping with the baby in the first months after birth is important and beneficial. This process plays essential in the development of lactation and the child's adaptation to new living conditions. But in the future, joint sleep is beneficial and has its advantages:

• Provides a feeling of comfort and safety for the baby;
• Mom does not need to get up at night for feeding;
• Easily adjusts lactation;
• Promotes the speedy recovery of the child in case of illness. In addition, it has been found that babies sleeping with their mother are much less likely to suffer from colic;
• The sleep cycles of the baby and mother are synchronized. In the future, the child gets used to sleeping at a time when the mother also sleeps;
• Teething is more calm and painless;
• The child falls asleep quickly and sleeps well;
• A balanced psyche is formed in a newborn, he is less capricious and cries;
• A newborn during co-sleeping wakes up much less often than in a separate bed;
• Benefits for the health and development of the newborn;
• Prevention of sudden infant mortality syndrome.

During sleep with parents, the baby feels comfortable and calm, and a close relationship is established between mother and child. Co-sleeping not only improves lactation. It preserves and maximizes breastfeeding. But it is mother's milk that provides all the necessary substances and elements for the full development of the child, forms and strengthens the immune system, and normalizes the functioning of internal organs.

Danger

Despite the benefits and positive sides sleep baby with mom, there are negative aspects of this phenomenon. Let's see how dangerous it is:

• Overheating of the baby;
• Parents can accidentally crush the baby during sleep. The risk of strangulation is minimal, but sometimes such tragic cases occur;
• Parents can be carriers of an asymptomatic infection and as a result infect the child;
• After a year, if the baby continues to sleep with his mother, sleep worsens;
• A habit is formed to fall asleep only with parents, the skill to fall asleep on their own does not develop;
• Parents do not get enough sleep;
• The baby may have deviations in psychosexual development.
• Sometimes leads to enuresis, violation of social adaptation and fears. However, this applies to children who continue to sleep with their parents later in life.

How to arrange co-sleeping

The well-known television doctor Komarovsky says that the benefits of co-sleeping can only be if two conditions are met. If the process suits every member of the family, including dad. And, of course, with full security.

Rules for arranging co-sleeping:

• The child is placed between the mother and the side of the bed. Also, the bed can be moved close to the wall. He should lie next to his mother, and not between his parents !;
• Do not place your baby on pillows or soft duvets. Komarovsky recommend using a hard mattress to organize baby sleep;
• Only use underwear from natural materials. Synthetics can cause allergies in a newborn, disrupt the functioning of the respiratory system;
• You can not take the baby to bed if at least one of the parents has taken alcohol or sedatives;
• You can not put the baby with the mother if she is sick. Breasts are easy to infect. What to do if a nursing mother has a cold, read;
• Do not overheat and do not wrap the baby too much, because mom is an additional source of heat;
• Take precautions while sleeping so that the baby does not accidentally roll out of bed. Make sure that there is no empty space and cracks between the bed and the wall;
• Try not to cover the baby with a blanket;
• Do not leave the child alone on the bed without special restraints, rollers and “fences”.

Interestingly, with the correct and comfortable organization of sleep, the baby easily learns to sleep separately from the age of 2-2.5 years.

How and when to teach your baby to sleep alone

Parents are often concerned about the question of at what age to wean a child from co-sleeping. Pediatricians recommend teaching your baby to sleep separately by 2-3 years. At this age, co-sleeping can be harmful mental development children. In addition, parents and the child himself will no longer be comfortable.

The transition to separate sleep can begin if the following signs are observed:

• Completion of breastfeeding;
• Discomfort while sleeping together;
• The baby is over two years old;
• The child falls asleep on his own.

The level of development and independence will tell about the readiness of the baby for a separate bed. It is important that weaning does not become a big stress for the child. Therefore, pediatricians, including Komarovsky, advise to carry out weaning gradually. Regularly tell and explain to your baby what the benefits of separate sleep are. Come up with a whole bedtime ritual, which will include beautiful pajamas, a soft blanket, a favorite toy nearby and a fairy tale from your parents, a glass of milk at night or a light massage before bed.

Often, parents are faced with a problem when the baby is afraid to sleep alone. if he came from the crib to mom and dad, do not scold and do not drive the child. Explain to the baby that sleeping alone is not scary, that parents are always there. Put your favorite toy or your own thing next to the child, come up with a legend that it protects and protects the child. Make a small night light next to the crib and leave the light on if necessary.

When your baby sleeps the whole night in his own crib for the first time, be sure to praise him! Replace nocturnal tactile contact with more frequent daytime play, walks, and activities with your child. The kid should not feel the lack or loss of attention from the parents.

Sleeping baby with mom is extremely comfortable on initial stage while the baby is still very small and needs constant contact with the mother. However, as they grow older, such a joint dream becomes problematic, so the question arises, how to wean a child to sleep with his mother and avoid tantrums?

Is it worth putting the baby in your bed or should you put him in his own bed from the very first days of his stay in the house? The question is ambiguous. Co-sleeping has both ardent opponents and ardent supporters.

For example, a well-known pediatrician Komarovsky refers to the latter. Doctor gives the following arguments:

• The baby sleeps better. The child, being next to the mother, feeling her breathing and hearing the beating of the heart, feels completely safe and sleeps much calmer.

• Mom gets to sleep. When sleeping together, the mother does not have to rise to the child ten times a night. To feed a baby, it is enough for her to give him a breast.

And here are the arguments of the opponents of putting the child in the parent's bed:

• The baby interferes with the marital relations of the parents. The argument is, of course, debatable. Since if desired loving man and the woman will be able to find a compromise. And a wife who has had a good night's sleep will rather respond to her husband's caresses than one exhausted by endless standing up to her child.

• There is a risk of suffocating the baby if you sleep together. This argument can also be classified as "horror stories", since the mother's sleep is very sensitive. However, you still need to follow certain safety rules. For example, you should not put the baby to bed if the mother has taken any means that affect sensitivity (sedatives, alcohol). It is also important to take care that the child’s face cannot have a pillow or a crumpled sheet.

Therefore, it is, of course, possible to wean a baby from sleeping with his mother. But is it worth it? After all, this will create inconvenience in the first place for the mother herself. Another thing is older children. They really shouldn't be in their parents' bed.

What reasons make older children come to bed with their parents?

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• Intrusive fears. The reasons for their appearance should be tried to find out and eliminate. But even if the fears seem stupid to the parents, you can’t make fun of the child, call him a coward.

• Experiences. They arise if there is a turbulent situation in the family or conflicts often arise in the children's team.

• Disease and poor health.

• Lack of parental attention. The child simply misses mom and dad and attracts attention.

• Jealousy. Sometimes the desire to come to sleep in the parent's bed appears when a younger child appears in the family.

The experiences of the child may seem frivolous and far-fetched to parents, as adults are used to measuring everything with their own standards. However, the child's fears or feelings of loneliness can trigger the development of real stress. And stress is one of the predisposing factors of various diseases.

How to wean babies?

If parents nevertheless decide to leave their bed exclusively at their own disposal, then they will have to wean the child to sleep with his mother for up to a year. With such a baby, abrupt decisions should not be made, weaning must be carried out gradually and consistently. Here is one of the best ways:

• move the crib close to the bed, after removing the side rail from it. It is important that the height of the beds match, but since modern cribs are adjustable in height, this is most likely not a problem;

• at first, put the child with you, as usual, let him get used to the fact that his crib is nearby;

• then lay the baby on his "territory", remaining nearby. That is, the baby will remain "with his mother", while being in his own bed. Of course, during the night the child may make attempts to move to the parents' bed, but the mother must persistently return him to his place;

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• after the baby gets used to this state of affairs, you need to install the side of the crib, but do not move it away yet;

• and then begin the gradual movement of the crib to the place of its "permanent deployment". At the first stage, you need to move the crib just a little bit and gradually increase the gap between the child's and parent's bed.

You can do the same if the child is 1 year old, since the baby is still too small to negotiate with him.

How to wean older children?

WHO recommendations call for continued breastfeeding until the child is 2 years old. After breastfeeding is completed, it makes little sense to put the baby in your bed, and it should be “resettled” in its own crib. But if the baby and mother are not ready for this, then you can wait another year.

At 3 years old, most kids wake up with a sense of ownership. The child begins to understand that he has personal things, and only he can allow them to be used or not. This is worth playing, accustoming the baby to sleep in a separate bed. After all, this will be his personal “territory”, to which “entry” even to parents will be prohibited.

If you start weaning at 4 years old and even more so at 5 years old, then special emphasis should be placed on the child’s desire for independence. But so that later you don’t have to decide how to wean an adult child from sleeping with his mother, it’s better to teach the baby to his own bed early.

But in any case, it is better to act gradually. Do not resolutely slam the door, barely putting the child in his crib. At the first stages, you will need to sit by the child's bed, holding his hand and telling a fairy tale. This will calm the baby, and when she falls asleep, it will be possible to quietly exit.

The regime should become the main "ally" of parents. You need to put the child to bed at a certain time, and the actions before going to bed should resemble a ritual. Daily repeated actions calm children, set them up for sleep.

It may happen that at first the child will wake up at night and come to bed with his parents. You will need to gently but persistently send him back to his bed and sit with him for a while until he falls asleep. But to give slack, and let the child into your bed “one time” is impossible, since the exception will soon turn into the rule, and you will need to start all over again.

A small breast lump smelling of milk clings to you and sniffs next to you - what could be better? But is the joint sleep of mother and baby so harmless? What should young mothers do to fully rest at night, not being afraid to move because of the close presence of the baby? This article provides tips on how to wean a child from sleeping with mom, you will also find out what pediatricians and psychologists think about this, and young mothers will also share their experience in solving such problems.

If your beloved child falls asleep only at the feeling of the close proximity of one of the parents, then this is not something out of the ordinary. This state of affairs is easy to explain, since the baby was inseparable from his mother for nine months, he lived in the womb in unison with the beat of his mother's heart, he was comfortable and warm.

Having been born into the world, he is still connected with his mother, because she is the source of his food and the main person who takes care of him, she is calm and serene with her.

Donald Woods Winnicott, in his book Little Children and Their Mothers, writes: “The mental health of the individual from the very first days is laid down by his mother, providing what I call “helpful, helpful environment"(facilitating environment), in which the process of natural development of the child takes place in accordance with hereditary patterns. The mother - without hesitation and without knowing - lays the foundations of a mentally healthy personality." this health.

If a child grows up in a family where from his birth they were not taught to sleep with their mother, then most likely they will not encounter such a problem. This decision should be taken directly by the parents, weighing all the positive and negative sides.

If the mother is patient during the period when the baby wakes up at night to eat, then she will not face the problem of co-sleeping. Naturally, it is very difficult for a young woman who has just given birth to a baby to get up several times a night to feed her baby. Therefore, mothers choose more easy way- sleep with the baby.

Pros and cons of co-sleeping

In order to decide whether it is necessary to wean a child from sharing sleep with parents, first of all, it is worth knowing the positive and negative aspects of this process.

Benefits of co-sleeping

• The baby is warm and comfortable, the emotional connection that began in the prenatal period continues;
• It is easier for mom to cope with night feedings, the child is always under control;
• From the maternal warmth of her presence, a child before the age of three months calms down faster, suffers less from intestinal colic;
• Regular emptying of the breast improves lactation;
• Both the baby and the mother sleep better.

Risks of sleeping with parents

Risk to the child's life

The first and very serious reason for putting the baby in a separate bed is to eliminate the risk of crushing the baby in his sleep. Such cases have been known since ancient times, and are not uncommon now. If a woman falls asleep while breastfeeding, her breasts may accidentally stop the baby from breathing. It happens that in a dream a woman simply inaccurately rolls over, and this ends with tragic consequences. Such risks need to be taken into account by young mothers and those who are forced to take a sedative or sleeping pill at night.

Risks of infections and viruses

Sleeping a baby with dad and mom is unhygienic and unhealthy for the baby: the child automatically receives all the baggage of viruses and infections from the parents.

Lack of a fulfilling sexual life of parents

Among the minuses, you need to remember the dad, who is relegated to the background. A sleeping child between parents can lead to a lack of a fulfilling sex life, which can result in quarrels and problems in the relationship between spouses.

A well-known pediatrician, doctor of medical sciences, Komarovsky Evgeny Olegovich says: "We cannot make a child happy at the cost of his dad's misfortune." This doctor advises mothers who have decided to sleep with children to listen to the opinion of the father and involve him in the upbringing of the child.

How to make co-sleeping safe

If, nevertheless, by mutual decision of the parents, the child sleeps with them, you need to follow some of the advice of doctors.

Child and alcohol don't mix

After taking alcoholic beverages, in no case should you take the child to your bed.

Don't put the baby between the parents

The bed should be safe and comfortable.

Bedding should be exactly matched to the size of the bed, there should not be any blankets or pillows near the baby's face. There should be no gaps between the bed, mattress and wall. It is important to provide a sleeping place for the baby with the recommended, in such cases, mattress rigidity, otherwise there is a risk of developing scoliosis. The child should have his own blanket, sleeping under a common blanket is dangerous for the life of the baby. In addition, there is a risk of hypothermia of the baby if, due to the fault of the parents, the blanket slips from him.

Why sleep separately from the baby?

There is a weighty argument for parents to understand why it is necessary to sleep separately from the baby.

The child develops independence

A separate dream, from the first days of life, allows you to develop an independent personality in a little man. The baby develops the concept of its own territory: its room, bed. Modern means of communication, such as a baby monitor, will help the mother hear the baby's cry and respond to it in a timely manner. As an option, the cradle can be placed in the parent's bedroom, but the children's and adult spaces can be divided into separate zones. If the child is 4 years old, and he continues to sleep in his mother's bed, then there is a possibility that this will lead the child to the inability to make decisions independently in the future and depend on the mother even in small things.

If the child is already 4 years old and more, and he is still sleeping with his mother, then it's time to think. There can be two reasons: the child has psychological pathologies or you have difficulties in personal life. In fact, this problem is solvable, but you need to know how to properly organize the weaning process so that it is not a psychological trauma for the baby.

12 ways to wean a child to sleep with mom

Of course, it would be abnormal in every sense to have an overage child stay together at night with his mother in the same bed. When to wean and how to wean are questions that concern parents sleeping with their baby.

Until the age of two or three, experts in psychology and pediatrics do not consider joint sleep an anomaly, but recommend starting the weaning process as early as 2 years old.

Mom, you need to be patient and prepare for the difficult and lengthy process of weaning. It is very important to do this painlessly so as not to injure the child's psyche. If the child is about to make important changes in life, then weaning from co-sleeping should be postponed a little, because it can stagger psychological condition baby. This change may be the birth of another child, moving to new apartment, hospital or kindergarten.

1. No need to immediately put the baby to sleep separately

In no case should you sharply wean the child from co-sleeping with his mother. Start with some barrier between you. It can be a side from a blanket, a soft toy or a pillow.

2. Create conditions for comfortable sleep

If you decide that the child is ready to sleep in his own crib, create comfortable conditions for him. Bed linen should be clean, the bed and mattress in it are comfortable. The crib should be a place in which the child wants to sleep, where he will feel good and comfortable.

3. Have a holiday move

With children over 2 years old, you can choose a crib, bedding, toys for sleep together and arrange a festive move to your bed. Let this be an event for the child, he should know that he has become more mature.

Victoria, mother of 3-year-old Ulyana: “We decided to buy our daughter a new bed and move her out of ours (she grew up from a baby with high sides, and she never slept there). They suggested that Ole choose it together and did not object when she settled on pink with flowers, although she did not fit the interior of the room. In order to somehow fit the bed into the interior, we chose stickers for the wardrobe and shelves, and even re-pasted wallpaper on one wall (repairs were made before the birth of the child, when they did not yet know the gender). My daughter was so carried away by the process that she moved to sleep in the “new” room without any problems.

4. Start "relocation" should be with sleep during the day

Send your baby to his crib for nap time. If the baby is on breastfeeding then put him to bed after he eats and falls asleep. If the child is older than 2 years, then the mother should be nearby, and the baby in his crib.

You can’t punish a child with the fact that if he doesn’t obey, he will sleep in his bed.

5. Prepare for a night of sleep on your own

Put his favorite toy next to him, read a bedtime story. It is important that the room is ventilated, a night light is attached to the wall and, if possible, a painting in the form of a favorite cartoon character.

6. Start slowly

If the child is very sensitive to "relocation", offer to reshuffle first. Move his crib closer to your bed. If suddenly the baby becomes scared, then he will quickly be able to climb over to you. When the child is already used to such a rearrangement, slowly move his crib away from yours. You need to be consistent and do everything in stages.

Nastya, mother of Ilya 2.5 years old: “I tried to wean Ilyusha to sleep with me from the age of 2. The method of gradual relocation approached us: first I sat next to him on his crib, then in a chair next to the crib, then near the door. This took about 3 months. Then the chair migrated under the nursery door from the back. Ilyusha fell asleep, and I sat in the corridor. For six months of such “gatherings”, the son weaned himself from sleeping with us and began to fall asleep alone in his room.

7. Encourage your child to be independent.

Use the desire for independence characteristic of a child of 2-3 years old in order to “resettle” him from his mother. Let the baby choose what he sleeps with and on. If he wants his favorite huge car, let it be, so he will be calmer. Give the child freedom of choice: let him decide on which bed linen him to sleep. Also, let the baby choose a nightlight on their own.

By teaching your child to be independent, you will help him to increase his self-esteem. The child will understand that you consider him an adult. And this will contribute to the fact that the child will more easily accept the “moving” from the parent’s bed to his own.

8. Attract influencers

For children, the opinion of authoritative adults (grandparents, older brothers or sisters) is very important. Ask this "authority" to casually start a conversation about co-sleeping. Be generous and grateful, praise the baby. If the child has been sleeping separately for a week, this may be an occasion for a small holiday. Give him something like a medal for courage.

Prepare for the fact that at first the child will often come running to you at night. You need to immediately go back with the child, put him to bed and sit next to him until he falls asleep.

10. Eliminate active games and TV

So that the child does not wake up at night and does not come to you, you need to exclude active games and watching TV 3-4 hours before bedtime. Cartoons and TV programs, as well as games on the tablet, overload the child's brain with an abundance of information, which prevents him from resting peacefully at night. Better to accept fragrant bath with foam and loved ones and feed the baby well.

11. Have Bedtime Traditions

The process of putting the baby to bed should become a good tradition, not a lifelong fear.

Keep the sequence of actions: first bathing before bedtime, then milk with honey, and after all this a short but very important conversation with mom and a bedtime story.

12. Reassure and do not be lazy to come to the call of the child

All children have a fantasy, so they think that overnight the world will become completely different, and their mother will disappear altogether. This is what should motivate you to be a support for your child and have a close emotional connection with him.

How to wean a baby from co-sleeping with mom

If you want to teach a newborn or a one-year-old child to separate sleep, things will be a little harder here, especially if the child is still breastfeeding.

Good Alternative option- find a compromise with the baby and allow him to fall asleep in his parents' bed, and after his "going to bed" transfer him to his bed. This option is ideal for babies who do not throw a tantrum in the morning, after waking up in their crib.

If you have breastfed your baby by transferring him to your crib, take care that there was no strong temperature difference. To do this, you can warm up a sheet or diaper a little by ironing it or putting it on the battery in advance.

In order for the weaning process to go the least painlessly, parents need to gain strength and patience, be wise, gentle, but at the same time persistent, and not violate their decision to sleep separately.

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The program and intensity of classes depend on the age of the child and are divided into 3 stages: The first stage of theoretical training includes the study of traffic rules, the basics of road safety, the relationship between a pedestrian and a driver, as well as a basic course on car and motorcycle construction. To the first stage practical training includes training in the use of controls, landing in the driver's seat, starting and braking, reversing and forward snake, turning in a confined space, entering the box.

It is best to involve in the preparation for the exam all your friends who know how to drive and are ready to work out with you in the countryside. Ask your friends to rehearse the theory test with you.

So you will feel more confident on the "day X".

Advice 2: How to get free medicines for a child

Are you 16 or 17 years old and want to get a license? Well, that's cool, because driving a car or a motorcycle is very cool, but from a legal point of view, everything is not so simple, since the question of whether how to get license under 18 pretty difficult.

Getting to drive a moped, scooter, etc.

So, if you are 16 years old, you can safely learn and pass on driving mopeds (category M) and motorcycles with small engines (up to 125 cubic meters - category A1).

Obtaining a motorcycle license

Obtaining a driver's license category B and C

The legislator clearly interprets that from the age of 16 you can learn to drive:

• passenger cars, category B;
• trucks, category C.

It is worth noting that in other countries there are no difficulties in order to how to get license under 18: USA (in different states in different ways from 14 to 17 years old), Iceland (17 years old).

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The program and intensity of classes depend on the age of the child and are divided into 3 stages: The first stage of theoretical training includes the study of traffic rules, the basics of road safety, the relationship between a pedestrian and a driver, as well as a basic course on car and motorcycle construction.

The first stage of practical training includes training in the use of controls, landing in the driver's seat, starting off and braking, reversing and forward snake, turning in a confined space, entering the box.

Driving license for children

You can download child driver's license templates here. If you organize the issuance of such driver's licenses for children, tell them about the use cases in the game, then you can then enjoy children's excitement and role-playing.

Elena and Yuri Bredyuk Subscribe to blog updates! 11 comments on the entry “Driver's license for children” Great idea! Children should be like adults.

Education and rights under 18

When you have it, then you can drive a moped. Good evening, can I study for category A at 16 and pass the exam at 18? I passed the traffic police for the rights, but I'm 17 years old.

What happens if you get stopped while driving? What consequences? You were taught badly at a driving school if you do not know the traffic rules and the Code of Administrative Offenses.

You get a fine, the car is impounded.

Hello. I'm 17 years old. Passed on the right.

Driver's license (rights) for free

So, if there are such clubs in your city, go yourself or send the children. -club from St. Petersburg: http://autoctt.su/ (“Children's and youth automobile sports and technical club under the state budget educational institution additional education for children, the Center for Technical Creativity of the Admiralteisky district of St. Petersburg”) - also available in St. Petersburg free education driving and getting a driver's license at the Cousteau State School.

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A playful template for the rights to drive a stroller for a boy (Russian + Ukrainian)